Fathers Fun

With the birth of my new son, Nicholas my daughter of almost three years is showing signs of jealousy.

We were anticipating this as it is a normal reaction, my daughter, Amanda has been the center of attention for two and a half years and that attention, now has to be shared with her brother. What also aggravates this situation is the fact that she is the only girl in our family, all her cousins are all boys and so she has always been spoilt by the everyone in the family.

Preparing for the birth of Nicholas, we bought several presents for her so when visitors came with gifts for our new born we would have something for Amanda, so she wouldn’t feel left out. This actually worked well, she was so busy playing with her new toys that she didn’t notice so much that the attention had shifted.

But the following days things got a little worse, she started to wet the bed, she wouldn’t eat much, she would give horrible evil looks to Nicholas when ever anybody visited and gave him attention and worst of all she started to bully other children in nursery.

Everyday for about a week the school would complain saying Amanda had kicked, punched or bitten another child. On one occasion she actually took on two kids at once, its good that she can stand up for herself but on the other hand I don’t want her to be a bully.

I would talk to her to try to explain that hitting is wrong but everyday we would receive another letter of complaint.

I came up with the idea of including Amanda in nearly everything we do with Nicholas and it seems to be working. The bed wetting has stopped and we haven’t had any complaints from the school for a while now.

So now when we bath Nicholas I take Amanda in the bathroom and get her to interact too.
She gives me the soap when I need, I let her wash his belly, and she stays next to Nicholas the whole time helping.

Another thing I have been doing is letting her hold him, of course I am securing him but he is resting on her lap and she then talks and plays with him.

Doing these things may seem trivial but it is a good way to help grow the bond between brother and sister and reduce jealousy.

I also find the time on a Saturday to take Amanda to a park for an hour, just me and her.
I believe this is a good thing to do as it increases the bond between me and my daughter and also it is giving her 100% attention.

Now one month later Amanda loves Nicholas, so much she wont leave him alone. She keeps asking to hold him, she especially loves letting Nicholas grab her finger, when he cries she comes along and tells him not to cry and everything is ok and she loves having photos taken with him.

One thing she does that makes me laugh is that when my wife breast feeds Nicholas, Amanda lifts up her top and asks to do it.

Every where we go or when we get new visitors she always shows Nicholas to people telling them he is her brother instead of being jealous of him she is now proud of him.

If you have a similar story to tell then send it to chris@chrisescars.com and will post it on the site or you can add it in the comments box below.